Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
