i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize