I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
