She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize