Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
