I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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