Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
