OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
