I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
