its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
