Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
