Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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