How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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