Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth

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  (810): ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth http://tfl.nu/99n5
  Replies (10) Good night (606) Bad night (3399)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair

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  (316): Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair http://tfl.nu/yhl2
  Replies (20) Good night (752) Bad night (4046)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.

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  (256): We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/312f
  Replies (43) Good night (6081) Bad night (823)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.

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  (419): The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday. http://tfl.nu/0i2s
  Replies (25) Good night (4561) Bad night (1457)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"

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  (519): My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things" (1-519): I didn't realize you were one of the "good people" http://tfl.nu/039y
  Replies (16) Good night (4531) Bad night (1147)
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  (+54): View more from

  My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed

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  (+54): My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed http://tfl.nu/m32v
  Replies (30) Good night (8356) Bad night (1186)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week

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  (334): thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week http://tfl.nu/vfml
  Replies (13) Good night (3039) Bad night (907)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4591) Bad night (923)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.

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  (412): Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever. http://tfl.nu/jfd9
  Replies (11) Good night (1910) Bad night (667)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?

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  (607): I drank butter last night, who am I to judge? http://tfl.nu/jfzo
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (881)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

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  (306): We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned. http://tfl.nu/jttg
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (346)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.

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  (540): There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong. http://tfl.nu/f8bz
  Replies (1) Good night (916) Bad night (311)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.

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  (614): I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am. http://tfl.nu/znur
  Replies (3) Good night (679) Bad night (313)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.

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  (540): These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love. http://tfl.nu/3io8
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (257)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??

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  (615): SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA?? http://tfl.nu/8648
  Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (256)

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