Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
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How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.