Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.

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  (586): One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you. (586): She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left. http://tfl.nu/4owu
  Replies (6) Good night (647) Bad night (1351)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy

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  (973): pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy http://tfl.nu/hiwh
  Replies (10) Good night (1300) Bad night (2938)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested

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  (704): I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested http://tfl.nu/mffy
  Replies (7) Good night (1740) Bad night (2604)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward

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  (602): i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward http://tfl.nu/yrv2
  Replies (21) Good night (969) Bad night (3447)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  ravioli

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  (609): So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up (1-609): i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one (609): ravioli http://tfl.nu/eoaw
  Replies (38) Good night (5016) Bad night (2682)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink

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  (210): I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink http://tfl.nu/9ici
  Replies (9) Good night (8092) Bad night (1247)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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  (505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u
  Replies (380) Good night (2124) Bad night (54133)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.

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  (434): Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other. http://tfl.nu/93c9
  Replies (7) Good night (3412) Bad night (1088)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.

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  (516): I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great. http://tfl.nu/3h0i
  Replies (14) Good night (2769) Bad night (726)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.

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  (517): She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free. http://tfl.nu/s0d6
  Replies (1) Good night (958) Bad night (436)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.

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  (403): I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable. http://tfl.nu/k33a
  Replies (5) Good night (1706) Bad night (463)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"

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  (413): weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories" http://tfl.nu/0nvt
  Replies (6) Good night (1175) Bad night (347)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority

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  (856): He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority http://tfl.nu/8eu2
  Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (336)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night

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  (620): Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night http://tfl.nu/e9ja
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (222)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"

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  (305): I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me" http://tfl.nu/ic9y
  Replies (0) Good night (459) Bad night (208)

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