You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
