Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies

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  (508): I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies http://tfl.nu/858n
  Replies (1) Good night (1051) Bad night (532)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just took my morning after pill in the library

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  (859): Just took my morning after pill in the library http://tfl.nu/18qw
  Replies (29) Good night (1462) Bad night (4125)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night

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  (864): you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night http://tfl.nu/m2bf
  Replies (13) Good night (9873) Bad night (742)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.

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  (404): boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am. http://tfl.nu/8njg
  Replies (6) Good night (1064) Bad night (3275)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?

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  (704): Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year? http://tfl.nu/w9x5
  Replies (6) Good night (3792) Bad night (1002)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....

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  (601): Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it..... http://tfl.nu/aiat
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (899)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!

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  (775): A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/j8i6
  Replies (9) Good night (2067) Bad night (398)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.

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  (205): Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight. http://tfl.nu/1hhy
  Replies (11) Good night (2642) Bad night (524)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday

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  (215): trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday http://tfl.nu/9goc
  Replies (5) Good night (1139) Bad night (541)
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  (209): View more from California

  Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!

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  (209): Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology! http://tfl.nu/c0oh
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (263)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.

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  (443): Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame. http://tfl.nu/nf1o
  Replies (3) Good night (280) Bad night (745)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.

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  (469): I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy. http://tfl.nu/2dh7
  Replies (7) Good night (435) Bad night (729)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I put xanax in the cake batter

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  Did you really? It all makes sense now.

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  (201): I put xanax in the cake batter (1-201): Did you really? It all makes sense now. http://tfl.nu/asjy
  Replies (14) Good night (917) Bad night (277)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.

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  (914): I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer. (216): Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro. http://tfl.nu/w82v
  Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (475)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN

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  (360): I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN http://tfl.nu/4lye
  Replies (1) Good night (264) Bad night (610)

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