Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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  (250): i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now http://tfl.nu/xz0v
  Replies (8) Good night (866) Bad night (3914)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.

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  (905): My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed. http://tfl.nu/zkjg
  Replies (21) Good night (4604) Bad night (2177)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.

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  (727): He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god. http://tfl.nu/zb23
  Replies (22) Good night (1041) Bad night (2703)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar

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  (781): You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar http://tfl.nu/4b1n
  Replies (6) Good night (2270) Bad night (1018)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me

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  (720): If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me http://tfl.nu/f7dp
  Replies (8) Good night (3256) Bad night (980)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.

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  (703): There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened. http://tfl.nu/llik
  Replies (19) Good night (1549) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement

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  (231): I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2xwy
  Replies (6) Good night (1846) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (876): View more from Jamaica

  i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend

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  (876): i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend http://tfl.nu/snpm
  Replies (9) Good night (832) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.

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  (404): It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcgf
  Replies (3) Good night (977) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Coming to you live from the floor of my office..

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  (919): Coming to you live from the floor of my office.. http://tfl.nu/0ate
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day

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  (701): When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day http://tfl.nu/f44m
  Replies (2) Good night (970) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself

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  (708): We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself http://tfl.nu/lyck
  Replies (2) Good night (904) Bad night (621)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.

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  (817): she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other. http://tfl.nu/sl8d
  Replies (7) Good night (1027) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar

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  (775): Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar http://tfl.nu/pwk7
  Replies (3) Good night (245) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker

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  (651): Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker http://tfl.nu/s38c
  Replies (0) Good night (560) Bad night (368)

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