I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
