I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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