Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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