We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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