I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
