he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
