Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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