hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
