I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
