do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I believe in your delicious
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
