therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
