its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
