My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
