just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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