you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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