Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Randomize
