I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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