My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
