i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
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You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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