you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
