he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just high enough for therapy.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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