I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
