and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
