Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
