I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
