I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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