Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
