I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize