ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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