Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
