i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
