The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
