so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
