We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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