I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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