I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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