dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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