Joe is yelling at the trees again.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
