Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
