Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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