I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
