Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
