how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
