It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just gift wrapped bread.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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