I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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