they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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